Is Marriage a Scam? Breaking Down Relationships, Myths, and Meaning

Is marriage really a scam, or is that just the pain of failed relationships talking? On this episode of The Voyage Cast, we’re tackling one of the most polarizing questions about modern relationships. Join host Eddie as he digs into the myths surrounding marriage, why so many people feel disillusioned by it, and what true commitment is really about. From cultural misconceptions to the hard truths of emotional growth, discover why marriage might be more meaningful than you think. If you’ve questioned the value of relationships or wondered if love is worth the risk, this episode is for you. Tune in for insightful conversations, surprising data, and a fresh perspective on what commitment can teach us about personal growth and connection.

Transcript

Welcome to The Voyage Cast: Is Marriage a Scam or a Sacred Commitment?

Hi everyone, welcome to The Voyage Cast—the podcast where we explore life’s biggest questions, breaking down complex ideas and offering real-life strategies to help you move forward with clarity and confidence. I’m Eddie, your host.

Today, we’re diving into a topic that’s stirring up a lot of emotions online: Is marriage a scam? That’s right—marriage. Some people are questioning its value entirely, and many are feeling discouraged, disillusioned, or downright angry about what marriage has become.

This episode was sparked by a thread on our Facebook page. One comment read, “I’d rather go it alone than be weighed down by a bunch of idiots.” Another claimed, “Don’t be fooled. Marriage is a scam, and falling birth rates are a good thing.” Others argued that marriage is a trap, a lie, or that most relationships are fake.

And honestly? I get where that pain is coming from. Those ideas don’t just appear out of thin air—they often stem from betrayal, disappointment, or growing up around broken relationship models.

But here’s the real question: Is marriage itself broken—or are we responding to broken versions of it?

Stay with me. By the end of this episode, you might start to see that marriage isn’t a scam—but a sacred commitment that we’ve forgotten how to build.

Part 1: What People Are Really Rejecting

Let’s start by being honest: most people who say they’re “done” with marriage aren’t rejecting the idea of marriage—they’re rejecting the dysfunction they’ve seen.

Modern culture often promotes a shallow version of marriage. It’s more about Instagram-worthy weddings than building resilient partnerships. When real life hits—bills, stress, parenting, and conflict—many realize they were never taught how to relate in healthy ways.

In my clinical experience as a licensed marriage and family therapist, it’s become clear: most people enter marriage without the skills or understanding to make it work. This isn’t meant to shame anyone. The truth is, many of us were never taught how to connect, repair, or grow within a committed relationship.

Part 2: What Marriage Actually Is

Now let’s talk about what marriage really is—not the commercialized version.

At its core, marriage is a covenant. It’s an intentional, voluntary agreement to be responsible not just for someone else, but for who you’re becoming in their presence. It’s about growth, responsibility, and transformation.

Psychologist Jordan Peterson has said that meaning comes from bearing responsibility—not avoiding it. He talks about “finding the heaviest burden you can carry and shouldering it.” In many ways, marriage is that burden—and also the path to purpose.

This isn’t about sentiment. It’s about strength. Because real love doesn’t make you weaker. It makes you braver, sharper, and more human.

But here’s the thing: we live in a culture that idolizes autonomy. People want connection without sacrifice, intimacy without discomfort. That’s not how growth happens.

You don’t become strong by avoiding resistance. You grow by walking into the fire—with someone beside you.

Part 3: The Science of Marriage—Facts You Can’t Ignore

You might be thinking, “Okay Eddie, that’s poetic—but what does the data say?”

Glad you asked. Let’s talk marriage research and mental health.

Peer-reviewed studies from the NIH, CDC, and others have found that people in healthy, stable marriages:

• Report higher life satisfaction
• Experience less depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation
• Live longer and recover faster from illness
• Have stronger immune systems and lower rates of heart disease and dementia

The science is clear: Marriage improves physical and mental health when done well.

And what about finances? Yes—divorce is expensive. But research consistently shows that married couples have four times the net worth of single individuals. Long-term planning, pooled resources, and mutual accountability foster financial resilience.

Marriage isn’t financial suicide. But entering it without maturity? That can be. Immature marriages fail—mature marriages thrive.

Part 4: The Myth of Going It Alone

Let’s circle back to that comment: “I’d rather go it alone than be weighed down by a bunch of idiots.”

It sounds bold—but often, it’s pain wearing armor.

Isolation can feel safer than risking connection again, especially after betrayal. But if your worldview is “people can’t be trusted,” you don’t just keep others out—you keep yourself small.

I’m not saying trust blindly. I’m saying trust wisely. Because marriage isn’t about perfection—it’s about commitment. Two people deciding to grow through the mess together.

And that is strength.

Part 5: Final Thoughts—Marriage Isn’t a Scam, But Our Expectations Might Be

Let me be real with you: not every marriage should survive. Some relationships are truly toxic and unsafe. But those aren’t failures of marriage—they’re failures of discernment, education, and responsibility.

Throwing out marriage because some people do it badly is like giving up on food because some meals were junk.

Marriage isn’t a scam. But the way our culture understands it? That might be.

We live in a society that tells us we should never have to struggle. But life will include suffering. The question is: will you suffer with purpose, or suffer alone?

Better marriages don’t start with better feelings. They start with better foundations—rooted in truth, emotional maturity, patience, and commitment.

At the end of the day, marriage isn’t about comfort—it’s about transformation. It’s one of the biggest risks you’ll ever take. But it’s also one of the most refining, meaningful decisions you’ll ever make.