Comfortable Lies VS Hard Truths

We all say we want the truth—but do we really? In this episode of The Voyage Cast, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Eddie Eccker unpacks the emotional and relational cost of avoiding honesty. Whether it’s pretending everything’s fine, avoiding conflict, or withholding your real thoughts to “keep the peace,” comfortable lies slowly fracture connection. You’ll learn how to spot self-protective patterns, how to approach honesty without cruelty, and why facing hard truths is often the most loving move you can make. This one’s for the people who smile and nod while their insides scream “no.”

For the Full Article “Comfortable Lies vs Hard Truths” click here. 

Transcript

“The truth is the truth, even if nobody believes it, and a lie is a lie, even if everybody believes it.” - Unknown

This statement is as deep as it is uncomfortable. Truth doesn’t bend to the moods of the majority, and lies don’t transform into reality simply because they’re widely embraced. Truth exists without our permission, while lies thrive in our willingness to accept them.

As a therapist, I witness this tension unfold in personal lives, relationships, and society as a whole. Lies provide comfort. They assure us we’re fine, that we’re blameless, and that change is unnecessary, or maybe change is meant for someone else. Truth, on the other hand, demands effort, self-reflection, and, sometimes, pain.

But here’s the thing—lies might soothe for a moment, but they steal long-term peace, freedom, and growth. Living comforted by lies is like wrapping a bandage over an infection; it only delays the healing.

Why Do Lies Feel Easier?

Lies often feel like tiny gifts—pleasant when unwrapped, but hollow at their core. We accept them for various reasons, and they easily embed themselves into our thoughts or lives, shaping how we view ourselves and the world.

Some lies sound like this:

• “I’m not good enough to succeed.”
• “This relationship will never improve.”
• “Everyone believes this, so it’s probably correct.”
• “This is just who I am—I can’t change.”

At first glance, these feel like truths. But lies take root in the fertile soil of past pain, childhood experiences, societal conditioning, toxic empathy, or the careless words of others.

For example:

• If someone grew up in a household where love was inconsistent, they might adopt the belief, “I’m unlovable,” as a shield against rejection. It’s easier to accept that lie than sit with the deep ache for meaningful connection.
• Married couples often carry lies into their relationship—convinced their spouse isn’t capable of change or that communication will never improve. These beliefs shape harmful cycles while reinforcing disconnection.

Truth Isn’t Easy—But It’s Powerfully Liberating

Here’s the raw reality about the truth:

1. Truth is unchanging. It won’t adjust for your comfort or convenience. You can deny it, shake your fists at it, or turn your back on it—but the truth remains steadfast.
2. Truth is uncomfortable. Facing the real version of yourself—or your relationships—forces you to confront unfair expectations, unkind habits, or flawed assumptions. And that’s never fun.

But here’s the paradox—the truth is liberating. Always. Lies protect us with temporary safety or illusions, but truth grants us the kinds of freedom and peace that last. There’s a famous biblical passage that echoes this idea:

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32)

This freedom isn’t just about external circumstances—it’s an internal shift. When you replace false beliefs with truth, the way you see yourself, others, and even God sharpens into focus. You start making decisions based on clarity, not confusion.

Identifying the Lies in Your Life

Recognizing and dismantling lies starts with pure honesty. Ask yourself these questions:

1. What beliefs about myself or my life feel heavy, draining, or hopeless?
2. Where did I adopt these beliefs? Is their origin rooted in truth—or shaped by fear, past wounds, or societal pressure?
3. Do these beliefs lead me toward freedom, self-improvement, and growth—or do they limit me?

Here’s the hard part about lies—they thrive in silence. The longer you avoid confronting them, the deeper their roots grow. Lies love the dark, but truth demands light.

"It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere." 

-Voltaire 

The Courage to Choose Truth

Why is it so hard to face the truth? Because it asks something of you. Truth requires action, introspection, and vulnerability. But here’s the beauty—looking truth in the face is the first step to genuine change.

Here are 3 ways to walk toward truth:

1. Be radically honest with yourself. It’s tough acknowledging that you’ve built your life—or relationships—around some lies. But real change begins here.
2. Lean on others. Trusted friends, counselors, or partners can act as mirrors, helping you confront blind spots. Don’t underestimate the impact of external perspectives.
3. Release the familiar. Lies, even harmful ones, can feel comfortable because they’re so familiar. Truth asks you to give them up—and that often hurts. But the reward of freedom is worth the discomfort.

Real-Life Example

Take a couple considering separation. Years of hurt have grown lies like these:

• “She doesn’t care about me.”
• “He’ll never change.”

These beliefs create emotional distance and bitterness. But through counseling, the couple uncovers the truth—both are carrying wounds and fears they’ve never expressed. New truths enter the picture:

• “She does care but struggles to show it because she’s emotionally overwhelmed.”
• “He’s capable of change when he feels truly supported.”

This process doesn’t mean the truth is easy. Confronting fear and rebuilding trust is hard. But these truths give them something that lies never offered—hope. A willingness to work at their relationship instead of walking away.

The Final Word

Truth doesn’t concern itself with popularity or public approval—it doesn’t need you to believe in it for it to exist. As Derek Webb sang it “The truth is never sexy, so it's not an easy sell. You can dress her like the culture, but she'll shock 'em just as well."

Lies might wrap you in a warm illusion for a while, but they’ll always crumble. They steal mental clarity, rob peace of mind, and keep you running in circles. Meanwhile, truth waits, unwavering, for you to confront it, accept it, and act on it.

Ask yourself today:

• What truths am I avoiding?
• What lies have taken root in my life, relationships, or thinking?
• Am I willing to face these truths, even if it stings? Even if there are consequences?

Because here’s the truth—life is too short to live trapped by comforting lies. Truth is hard, yes. It requires courage. But the peace and freedom it brings? That’s something no lie could ever match.

“The truth is the truth, even if nobody believes it. 

And a lie is a lie, even if everybody believes it.”

Are you ready to choose the truth?